Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Liberal Haikus



© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

 A mouse in a wheel

platform small as a skateboard

Barack’s ideal car


Flatulent sheep honk

Greenhouse gas permeates air

Tax those selfish beasts!


Brain made of jello

No traces of memory

Nancy still Speaker

 

Biden court jester

King Barack kept in stitches

More fun than Palin!

 

Credit card maxed out

Hi-def Cable bill unpaid

Barack will save me


open close open

Obama treating Gitmo

Like local “Quik Trip”


Alarm bells from Gore

Imminent earth disaster

He’ll sell salvation!

 

Wild iran mullahs

Nukes to threaten entire world

Let’s sit down and chat!

 

Catholic Barack

On big European stage

Says “Mea culpa”

 

Kim Jong Il tests bomb

Obama really angry

Holds breath ‘til turns blue

 

Wealth as finite pie

The “rich” have too big a slice

Tax those selfish beasts!

 

Big Hollywood libs

Feel qualified to speak up

Think films are real

 

 

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Barack Goes Back to School, Flunks Econ 101

© 2009 by The Conservative Muse


'Tis the season when graduates put on their gowns

And yawn while their lecturer ceaselessly pounds

A message he’d like to convey to our nation,

That our self-centered greed’s our most evil fixation.

This speaker asks students with soaring ambition

To forsake big time jobs for a loftier mission.

 

He’s quick to disparage the drive for success

That society normally tries to impress

On its bright younger set to encourage their ventures,

Which thought sets our speaker to gnashing his dentures.

We should “serve folks in need,” and not “chase the brass ring”!

Whoops! This speaker’s Obama, just doin’ his thing!

 

Our Great Leader delivered a speech with this theme

undermining the standard American dream.

What a treat when our graduates hear The One say

Our entrepreneurial spirits convey

A “me-first”-style attitude needing suppressing

So Barack in his wisdom can give us his blessing.

 

Of course, all those parents must surely have gasped

Once their President’s message was solidly grasped:

If their kid strives to be a Barackian hero,

The return on their college investment is zero!

And if earnings get capped by Obama decree,

Then who’s gonna spend for a grad school degree?

 

Michelle had already hopped onto this bus:

While campaigning for hubby she liked to discuss

The evils of going to high-pricey college

Since low-paying “good” jobs don’t need all that knowledge!

(By the way, two small facts she neglected to say:

She herself went to Harvard, then worked for huge pay.)

 

While lefties might strive for that warm fuzzy feeling,

Economic realities set them a-reeling.

If Barack isn’t joking in what he has urged,

The number of “rich” will be very much purged;

Without all the income from taxed “aristocracy”

how the hell can he pay for his mammoth bureaucracy?

 

Is it too much to ask of our leader-in-chief

To acknowledge a person may not be a thief

‘Cause he’s got the “big office” and earns lofty wages?

Is that person fair prey for his socialist rages?

When it comes down to charity, all are agreed:

It’s our ethical duty to serve folks in need.

But The One’s instigating class warfare to bleed

Investors, risk takers, and all who succeed.

If these guys disappeared, soon Barack would concede

The importance of those in pursuit of their “greed.”

 

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Meet the New Godfather - Don Obama

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

 

These days when a president’s giving a speech

We know for a fact that he’s going to reach

For words that are kept in rhetorical store

That amply reflect his political core.

 

“Tax cuts for the rich” and “Let’s level the field”

Are phrases a speech from Obama might yield.

But we’d never expect our Great Leader to use,

“I made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.”

 

This strong-arming tactic was recently tried

On guys who run hedge funds, now fit to be tied

Since Obama “requested” their funds take a beating

While unions were given a top Chrysler seeding.

 

The same guy so kind to those Gitmo fanatics

Has gone on TV to exploit the dramatics

Of publicly flogging investment directors

As if it’s from them that we need his protectors!

 

Now managers nervously puff cigarettes

Since the boys of Barack started giving them threats.

Perhaps they’d be wise to start checking their beds

to see if they’ve got any lopped equine heads!

 

Barack waxed indignant o’er AIG payments,

And death threats rained down on those innocent claimants.

Even ex-ACORN workers, reporting corruption,

Are afraid for their lives’ premature interruption.

 

It seems that our “elegant” leader’s installing

A culture of thuggery, truly appalling.

Is this part of Obama’s new government “purity,”

When citizens need to start hiring security?

 

Barack loves to claim he’s on moral high ground,

But he sure seems to like pushing people around,

Especially those for whom riches abound.

If Francis Ford Coppola’s mind is still sound,

The Godfather Saga: Barack would be bound,

Of all his films, to become most renowned.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

A Reading from Genesis, Book I

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

  

It took the good Lord an intensive six days

To fashion the Earth from a gaseous maze.

Now Obama proclaims his own god-like creation:

In just a few months he’s “remaking” our nation!

 

Goodness knows, if there’s one thing that needs some remaking

It’s us – who routinely set world powers quaking

with resentment against our imperial attitude;

For Barack’s intervention we need to show gratitude!

 

He begged foreign leaders to warmly embrace

Our kinder and gentler American face.

He visited Europe, then Muslim-filled lands,

and said he was sorry for past U. S. stands.

 

He hobnobbed with Hugo, made deals with Raul,

And here’s more from Obama Diplomacy School:

Bomb-hurling Jihadists he’s wont to excuse,

But he’ll lay down the law to those Middle East Jews!

 

Back home he’s “remaking” our country, for sure,

through policies turning the “rich” into “poor.”

Class warfare is raging as never before  

While socialism pushes its foot in the door.

 

There’s a saying on which Barack’s actions are based:

“A crisis is something that’s too good to waste.”

Libs leap to manipulate public awareness

To demonize wealth and then implement “fairness.”

 

Our Founders were entrepreneur pioneers;

The nation they built was ranked first ‘mongst its peers.

Now Obama’s behavior exacerbates fears

That his first hundred days undid two hundred years!