News Flash: The Muse Wins Nobel Peace Prize!

© 2009 by The Conservative Muse

Today’s a great day for your good friend, The Muse;

He woke to a phone call extolling the news

That he’s won an award of repute that’s sublime:

The Nobel Peace Prize for Achievement in Rhyme!

The award cites our great contribution to peace

In ways that are mentioned within this release:

“While the Muse entertains us with dubious verse,

the world’s not so great -- but it’s not gotten worse!”

As behooves our high birth and our state of noblesse,

We’ve issued this statement for use by the press:

“We’re shocked and surprised, and we’re humbled quite deeply;

Its chokes us all up, gets us sobby and weeply…”

We’ll promise to act as befits honorees:

With class and distinction to highest degrees.

We’ll use the cash well, like to set up large grants

for teaching all school kids Muse-worshipping chants!

We’ll make a PR blitz on each network station;

We’re open for bookings for every occasion.

We’ll do button-down news, or a hip show that rocks --

“Meet the Press,” or “The Late Show” – just never on Fox!

Now wait just a minute… we’re getting some flack…

It’s suggested we give all the prize money back

Since our readership barely has reached double digits

And our format attracts intellectual midgets.

Some people are saying they’re truly irate

That this prize was awarded without much debate.

It’s true we’ve accomplished so little to date,

But that evens us up with the following slate

Of winners with backgrounds of equal light weight:

Jimmy Carter, Al Gore, and Obama the Great!