"How Do I Love Thee, Barack? Let Me Count the Ways"

(The Muse offers wholehearted apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning, whose poem can be read here.)

 

©  2009 by The Conservative Muse

 

How do I love thee?  Let me count the ways.

You tax the rich like modern Robin Hood,

To redistribute for the greater good.

You maketh me know how not-working pays.

 

I love with the ardor of the sun’s rays

That warmeth the globe, though less than man does.

Your cap and trade tax is blessed because

You’ll save mankind, thereby earning all praise.

 

I love thee for your generous essence.

We rejoice in future stimulus checks

And coupons for digital TV specs,

And cash to change light bulbs to fluorescents.

 

I love thee for social engineering.

Your sin tax and gas tax with larger goals

To moor your flock on collectivist shoals,

There our personal freedoms adhering.

 

I love thee for foreign humility.

You have seen the wisdom of prostration

Before crowds of European nation --

Your peaceful ways promise tranquility.

 

With concepts of “fairness” thou connect me;

for a level field I pledge last breath;

Thy nanny state shall always protect me

Yea, though I walk through the Valley of Death.

I love thee for universal health care;

For the Fiat of Obama Motors.

Your agenda is safe; no one will dare

Incur the wrath of us needy voters!