The Conservative Muse: Liberal Haikus

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Liberal Haikus

A mouse in a wheel

platform small as a skateboard

Barack’s ideal car

Flatulent sheep honk

Greenhouse gas permeates air

Tax those selfish beasts!

Brain made of jello

No traces of memory

Nancy still Speaker

Biden court jester

King Barack kept in stitches

More fun than Palin!

Credit card maxed out

Hi-def Cable bill unpaid

Barack will save me

open close open

Obama treating Gitmo

Like local “Quik Trip”

Alarm bells from Gore

Imminent earth disaster

He’ll sell salvation!

Wild iran mullahs

Nukes to threaten entire world

Let’s sit down and chat!

Catholic Barack

On big European stage

Says “Mea culpa”

Kim Jong Il tests bomb

Obama really angry

Holds breath ‘til turns blue

Wealth as finite pie

The “rich” have too big a slice

Tax those selfish beasts!

Big Hollywood libs

Feel qualified to speak up

Think films are real

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Q and A with the Muse

Q: I notice that you have compared yourself to Homer, et al. Isn't this incredibly arrogant? Have you no shame?

Yes and no.

Q: Just who are you, anyway?

The Muse was born and raised a liberal Democrat, and actively practiced same until the Carter-to-Reagan years, which changed his political alignment to conservatism, with a libertarian flavor.

Q: What was it about these years that made you switch?

The first thing that attracted the Muse’s attention was the disparaging attitude of the press toward the new President, the whole “amiable dunce” routine, that clearly exposed the press’s liberal bias. Considering Reagan’s success versus Carter’s ineffectualness, the Muse doesn’t understand how any liberal who was alive and conscious during that time did not similarly switch parties.

Q: Don’t you think it’s presumptuous to refer to yourself in the third person?

Yes.

Q: Then why do you do it?

Because The Muse is actually a supra-natural force that speaks through the Owner of this website.

Q: Isn't a "Muse" typically a feminine concept?

See above answer.

Q: I notice that you refer to Michael Moore, in one of your poems, as “The Muse of the Left.” Why would you elevate someone whom you obviously do not admire to such exalted status?

The Muse would point out that Michael Moore’s “elevation” is strictly in the eyes of his leftist audience. However, it is true that the co-existence of The Conservative Muse and Michael Moore is a reflection of the ongoing struggle between Good and Evil in this world.

Q: Your poems refer to “We” instead of “I”. Is there actually more than one person creating these poems?

No, the Muse simply prefers to use the royal “We.”

Q: You seem to have a lot of bitterness toward liberals.

The Muse can’t help himself. When liberals stop doing and saying things that outrage the Muse, then maybe this bitterness will also cease.

Q: We take it you didn't vote for Obama; doesn't this make you a racist?

Apparently

Q: Why do you express your political opinions in poetry?

Because the Muse is a Muse of Poetry.

Q: And yet you are responding to this Q and A in prose.

Give the Muse a break, OK?