Sean Penn Goes "Full Retard"

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

re·tard    (rē' tärd)   

n.   Offensive Slang 

1. Used as a disparaging term for a mentally retarded person.

Last week all the Hollywood folks had convened

To honor the best of the films they had screened

In their yearly extravagant Oscar event;

In facelifts alone, millions must’ve been spent!

They honored Sean Penn for his acting display,

But there’s more about Sean that we’d like to convey!

The film, “Tropic Thunder,” had cast a nice take

On sensitive actors attempting to make

Portrayals of people with mental debility

As proof of Academy-worthy ability. 

The film makes the point, vis a vis that award,

By going “full retard” one’s largely ignored!

Recall Dustin Hoffman; remember Tom Hanks; 

Their “Rain Man” and dense Forrest Gump had won thanks

from Academy voters who looked with disdain

At Penn’s “I Am Sam,” who had half of the brain

of the other two characters, proving the saw

That going “full retard”’s a tactical flaw. 

Though PC police this may tend to incite

In reality Sean plays a moron just right!

Think Hollywood libs --  it’s still hard to believe

there’s someone as childishly dumb and naïve 

as a person who thinks it’s an honor so sweet 

to prostrate himself at a dictator’s feet.

Hugo Chavez, Fidel, and the madman Saddam

Have all had the pleasure of shaking the palm

Of our boy while he toured their respective domains,

Praising socialist programs or fascist campaigns 

That he found to be honestly worthy of praise --

While blasting the U.S. in so many ways.

Does he know how his guys treat outspoken dissenters?

Perhaps they’d be hanged in the midst of Town Centers,

Or just disappear like they never existed – 

How nice that we know Sean has greatly assisted

These tyrants in spreading the lie that sounds good: 

These really nice guys are just misunderstood!

Sean won his award for portraying a gay;

He pled for their rights on the dais that day.

Perhaps he'd be shocked if we dared to reveal

Fidel hunted gays with a frightening zeal;

They rotted in jail with no chance for appeal –

More proof that Sean’s going “full retard” for real!