The Muse Embarks on His Own 'Cap and Trade' System

© 2009, by The Conservative Muse

The Muse will admit to environment crimes:

To start, there’s a ton of hot air in his rhymes; 

Then he burns electricity at his computer

(while hoping its x-rays don’t make him a neuter);

With hurricane force his sick brain is a-storming;

Do you see?  He’s a maker of globalized warming!

To salve his green guilt libs invented a cure: 

A carbon use tax that the Muse would endure

To negate ill effects of his waxing poetic. 

But the Muse’s main business involves what’s aesthetic,

So he’s gone to great lengths to conceive and arrange

The “cultural cap-and-trade carbon exchange”!

To show how it works we’ll present this example:

Let’s say that the Muse has an urging to trample 

on socialist doctrine Obama’s avowed;

this means that a poet in China’s allowed

to plant rows of trees that eat carbon dioxide, 

or build dams with big lakes and desirable dockside.

There’s a real-life model for such innovation: 

A utility firm in a German location 

Paid money as “credits” of carbon to Asians

Who’re building a dam as a part of equations

To balance our earth-killing climate incursion -

As writ in the Gospel of Al – the Lib Version.

But alas, this assuager of liberal guilt 

Won’t offer much help in the efforts to tilt

The “climate change” war to a cooler direction –

These dams are built even without the collection

Of fees based on sheer scientific baloney: 

Net savings in carbon emissions are phony! 

Barack will subscribe to this spreading of wealth;

These cap and trade scams reach new summits of stealth

In transferring cash from the big corporations

To China and other “developing” nations.

The plan of the Muse for artistic relations

Is an upgrade in harebrained Kyoto gyrations!