The O. J. Democrats

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

The body’s still breathing, but clothes soaked in blood

Are omens that mean there will soon be a flood

Of pundits, reporters, and analyst-types

To clog up the airwaves with typical hypes 

for partisan stories that hope to portray

The source of the wounds to our gal Fannie Mae!

But look! There’s a figure that’s stealing away –

Concealing his features from harsh light of day.

It’s O.J.!  Or maybe it’s Jack – as in “Ripper” –

The guy who’s most likely the source of the zipper

That oozed Fannie’s cash, thrown her into the tank.

Oh my gosh!  Can it be? It’s that quaint Barney Frank!

Even slick Willie Clinton, on network TV,

Put blame on the Dems to a major degree

For Fannie’s demise due to lax indecision

On GOP calls for increased supervision.

‘Twas time and again that the Bushies would ask

the Banking Committee to take up the task!

But Barney replied, in cahoots with Chris Dodd,

That nothing was wrong, that the books weren’t so odd;

Those weak subprime loans didn’t need further studies

 -- so long as huge fees went to Democrat buddies.

And now he’s afire with such grand indignation!

His chutzpah demands some intense medication! 

There’s few things that make lawful folks more irate

than bad guys escaping their merited fate.

Remember when O.J. got off, how he smiled!

…And we winced at the concept of Justice defiled.

Now Barney’s become the next proud poster child

for the patently guilty set free and gone wild!

'Tis the Season for Jolly Libs!

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

How apt that amidst all this hurricane weather,

The lefties are proving they’re nuts altogether!

Just look at that wit Michael Moore, who dared say,

When Hurricane Gustav was headed our way,

“It proves there’s a God,” since it scheduled to land 

on the date when the GOP’s caucus was planned.

While Hurricane Ike ravaged Cuba’s terrain,

An AP reporter viewed Castro’s domain

And fawningly gushed how the US could learn

a lesson from Cubans at times of concern:

They cleared out of town with no problem of looting!!

Would they be so compliant sans threat of a shooting?

Of course if you mention Katrina you’ll find

An anti-Bush sentiment springing to mind.

It’s why the libs use it in frequent attacks,

Although they’re ignoring some salient facts:

A floodwall was planned to avert such destruction,

But Dems who ruled Nawlins prevented construction!

We guess that Al Gore’s pretty happy, deep down;

Although the Gulf Coast might be losing a town

Those gullible folks who believe in his theory

Will buy carbon credits in numbers so cheery

For Gore’s extra business, that’s shamelessly built

On “sensitive” lefties’ environment guilt.

We’d like to point out how Obama’s quite like

A storm that they’ve named after Gustav and Ike.

He built up momentum o’er primary seas,

Hit land and cut Hillary off at the knees; 

Ran into McCain, was reduced to a breeze,

And now is as weak as a gasp or a wheeze!

Those Crazy, Hypocritical Celebs!

© 2007, by The Conservative Muse

Remember the scene?  A young man and his girl

on the prow of the ship with the wind all aswirl; 

he hugs her, they’re smiling – it’s all so romantic;

it’s what you expect if you cross the Atlantic

by sailing on board a luxurious liner -- 

for working-class blokes can it get any finer? 

He shouts, “I’m the King of the World” to the sky,

And makes teenaged girls in the audience cry.

How tragic to know that a scene that’s so nice

Will soon be destroyed by some huge chunks of ice 

That probably melted way off in the Arctic;

We guess this encounter was highly cathartic

For Leo DiCaprio, King of Titanic, 

Who thinks that the world should set off in a panic

To stop global warming from wreaking more harm

Than hitting his boat with a ten-bell alarm!

Although he became a legitimate actor,

It’s hard to ignore the hypocrisy factor

Of Leo’s campaign to reduce all consumption – 

From Hollywood types it’s the height of presumption! 

Just look at Babs Streisand, who lately observed

That water and energy must be conserved

To stave off the crisis of warming we’ve made;

For curbing our usage she’s on a crusade.

We guess from these strictures she’s gotten a pardon:

She spends twenty grand just to water her garden!

There’s Jennifer Lopez, George Clooney, Brad Pitt,

and Julia Roberts who love to admit

they drive hybrid cars for the mileage they’ll get,

then ruin it all in their own private jet

by flying around to their next destination

and spewing out carbon without limitation!

Is anything dumber than mounting a show

Like “Live Earth,” with rock stars who’d like to bestow 

Advice on the right and the “green” way to live? 

It’s like they would think Barry Bonds ought to give

A course on avoiding steroidal enhancement!

There’s only one concept that’s gaining advancement: 

These models of excess and wasteful pursuit

Are qualified best to pretend that they’re mute!

These two-faced celebs are all lefty-inclined;

They act like Al Gore and John Edwards combined:

These pols live in mansions too large to conceive 

While sending out messages hard to believe:

Al begs us to change and consume less and less;

John mourns for the poor as their plight is expressed

By mobile homes parked in his castle’s vicinity;

We doubt he endorses this kind of proximity! 

These Dems and celebrities share the same traits:

Their drive for enlarging their image creates 

A need for a “crisis” that lets them display 

Concern and compassion to show us the way

Our actions can keep this disaster at bay:

By changing our lifestyles so they can still play!

Barack Rocks the House!!

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse 

If life were a courtroom where judgment was rendered,

A verdict concerning Barack would be tendered

On data we have without need for subpoena:

His ego won't fit in a measly arena!

Instead he requested a stadium setting 

To modestly bask in the love he’s been getting

From rock-star celebs and the usual crowd

Of show-biz elites who are bursting, so proud!

Of course we’re describing that raucous Convention, 

With grandness of scale far beyond comprehension!

It rivaled the Chinese Olympics in scope,

And like that host country it leads to some hope 

That maybe there really is “change” in the wind –

But those who believe it will feel so chagrined 

When Barack is exposed as a typical lefty

With loads of new spending and taxes so hefty.

This lovefest -- complete with a fireworks display --

May not be the image the Dems should convey….

Recall how they squawked when the GOP ran

Those ads that suggested Barack was a man

Who’s quite the celeb, but not ready to lead:

It’s a point to which Dems should’ve paid greater heed

‘fore staging a rock show that proves they concede

he’s one of that cute Paris Hilton-type breed!