An Open Letter To Comrade Obama

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

Dear Senator,

Greetings from one of your passionate fans. 

I’m sure that you noticed me up in the stands

Displaying a poster for “CHANGE” in the air;

Michelle and yourself are one good-looking pair!

 

I’m white, middle-class, I’ve been working forever,

You’re giving me “hope” as you launch your endeavor

To bring all those folks who are way beyond wealthy

Back down to a point we acknowledge as healthy.

I gotta admit that at first I was scared;

I heard what you said and I wasn’t prepared

For hearing “free enterprise” praised in your speeches;

But then you came back with the message that reaches

us everyday people, the workers and such:

Go on and make money, just don’t make too much!

You target the greed of those bad CEO’s, 

The Exxons (slash) Mobils, and those who oppose

The rise of the working class up to their level;

I have to agree, you’re one socialist devil!

You’re on the right track, there can be little doubt;

And I’ve got some ideas, please let me help out:

I’d set up an Office of Income Review

And send all my bureaucrats out to subdue

This rising of salaries way off the charts.

Now there’s a good plan to win liberal hearts!

We’ll look at those football guys making big contracts;

Should riches be earned just from violent contacts?

All athletes professional need to beware:

They’ll make as much money as we think is fair!

Hey Hollywood! What makes you egotists think 

You’re owed all those millions from movies that stink?

Although with your viewpoints we’re highly simpatico, 

To claim that you’re worth it is quite idiotico.

I need to say something - this might be upsetting -

About all the moolah your Oprah is getting: 

We know that she’s done lots of things that are good,

But how come that money ain’t down in the ‘hood? 

And then while we’re at it we’ll pass a restriction

On money up front for a “memoir” of fiction

Like Bubba and Hillary made from their books; 

(While Hill’s on your side about CEO crooks,

We guess there’s a loophole she’s apt to allow:

Her hubby, per speech, makes near five hundred thou’!)

“Free enterprise” rules as a campaigning saying,

We know it’s a game that you’re not into playing.

Keep yelling ‘bout profits and CEO pay,

And tell us you’ll fix it when cometh the day

You’re sworn into office, and then you’ll convey  

That markets are “free” -- once you give the Okay.

Yours truly,

A hopeful Obama disciple

"Thanks for the Rebate!"

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

“Dear Senators, Congressmen, lawmakers all,

“A gift that's more thoughtful is hard to recall!

I heard all this talk of a nasty recession,

It drove me right onto the edge of depression.

Thank goodness you people all have a big heart:

With six hundred bucks I can make a new start!

“It’s comfort to know that you smart politicians

Have such an awareness of all our conditions.

I’m happy for you that this happens to be

The year for elections so I can agree

To pull on your lever and show you my gratitude

For all your paternal, benevolent attitude.

“I’m still a young guy with no certain direction

And haven’t yet made my vocation selection;

I guess I’ve been slacking these past couple years,

but if  I’d worked harder than this it appears

I might’ve missed out on this generous sum – 

Imagine the look on the face of that bum

Who made so much money he’s no longer able

To get this “free lunch” at the government’s table!

“I hear that these rebates are carefully planned 

to motivate spending and heighten demand; 

It’s part of a “stimulus” packaging theory

The thought of which gets me all worn-out and weary.

I'm not in the mood for financial detail --

Just give me a call when the check’s in the mail.

“I’m not second-guessing this gift, Heaven knows,

But questions remain that I’d now like to pose:

For rebates upcoming, which jobs are the best 

To promise that then I’ll be equally blessed?

(In other words, given the gift that’s at stake, 

I just need to know how much cash not to make). 

“I’d also like knowing what gaggle of scholars

Came up with this limit of six hundred dollars?

You’ve got those deep pockets of infinite size,

Won’t six or more thousand be that much more wise?  

“And why is this gift just a one-time affair?

If it’s good for us now, then why won’t you prepare

To make it a permanent part of our lives?

Imagine our joy when our rebate arrives!

It’s kind of like welfare…but then kind of not;

I know you can do it, please give it a shot!

“(In fact, while you’re at it, I’d ask you to ponder

Some health care insurance in case I should squander

A lot of my income with conduct that’s foolish;

your leaving me helpless would seem pretty ghoulish.)

“Big government, thanks for this lesson I’m learning:

Whenever life’s seas are especially churning

And hopelessness springs from the pittance I’m earning,

For Nanny State comfort I’ll always be yearning!”

Obama: "Hoping" for "Change"

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

Political rallies are sometimes quite telling

in how pols express the ideas they’re selling. 

Poor Bush is so tongue-tied he’s made us all squirm,

while running for office and throughout his term.

Is anything worse than that shrieking by Hill?

She aims for “inspiring” but lands on “just shrill.”

In contests for smoothness in issues rhetorical 

We’d figure Obama to win, categorical! 

He talks about “change” and he talks about “hope;” 

But once all his words are put under the ‘scope,

The spell that he’s woven is quickly destroyed;

Of meaningful substance they’re highly devoid!

With charm and allure and charisma galore,

His speeches are magnets for fans who adore

This cult-like persona who’ll be their messiah

To oust the establishment ruling pariah. 

He quotes from the Bible in tones of a preacher -

Did we say that it’s “change” and it’s “hope” that he’ll feature?

His populist message is greeted with roars;

Promoting his backers in language that soars, 

He calls them the agents for “change” and improvement.

He’s managing less a campaign than a movement. 

He handles the liberal press with such ease 

That raspy Chris Mathews goes weak in the knees.

This status is making the Clintons go livid; 

We have to admit the disparity’s vivid

‘Tween how they had scrutinized Bill so intently,

And how they’ve been treating Obama so gently. 

Recall it was Bill the press (rightly) assailed 

For claims that he smoked but he “never inhaled;”

Barack wrote he’d taken cocaine as a kid, 

And plaudits abound for the good that he did

By bringing this sad-but-true story to light;

A standard that’s double?  Ol’ Bill could be right.

We bet if the press won’t start slinging the mud,

We’ll witness how well Clinton, Inc., can draw blood!

There’s ”change” and there’s “hope” for our foreign relations:

Admitting Al Qaeda presents complications,

Obama will fight in accord with this plan: 

He’ll flee from Iraq, have good “talks” with Iran;

He’ll close Gitmo down, stop our terrorist spying; 

He’ll ban waterboarding as culture-defying 

(though evidence shows with these thugs on the rack, 

we’ve gotten good info that’s stopped an attack).

For winning the peace all these acts should suffice:

We’ll prove to the world that we’re just so darned nice!

The chance for such tactics to work very well

Are similar odds for a snowball in hell;

The concepts of “hope” and of “change” are just “swell;”

So far they’re just signs of a vacuous shell.

Preacher Al and the Global Warming Choir

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

Good lefties all over pay heed to the call:
"There's something afoot that's a threat to us all.
Our countries, our culture, our lives as we know it.
If we choose not to act then we surely will blow it.”
Not fearing a bomb from a radical Muslim --
(the goals of Al Qaeda and such seem to puzzle’em)
They focus on floods and on insects a-swarming:
The end of the world comes from globalized warming!

They hear all of this from the Prophet Al Gore;
Without this new gig he’d remain quite a bore.
He starred in a film and displayed high emotion
O’er polar bears caught in a deepening ocean.
This acting sufficed to earn many awards;
From Nobel to Oscar he reaped the rewards
Of scaring the hell out of gullible viewers,
Presenting as “Truth” science fact that he skewers.

Al’s based all his fears on the “hockey-stick” chart;
That graph is as real as stupid is smart.
He claims to be quoting the data verbatim,
but critics are legion and Al won’t debate’em.
He’ll call any nay-saying expert a hack
Who’s funded by corporate goons to attack.
Completely ignoring the opposite side,
He’ claims the point’s settled -- it’s cut and it’s dried.

The movie demands that we all be compliant
With edicts of which Al himself is defiant.
He says that our footprint of carbon’s enormous,
Then burns tons of gas while he tries to reform us.
He lives in a mansion; we doubt he’ll surrender
His lifestyle of energy-gobbling splendor.
Al owns a “green” business that sells to himself
A product not found on a hardware store’s shelf:
A “credit for carbon consumption,” they call it;
It’s soothing Al’s conscience while growing his wallet.

Libs bask in their virtue for squelching the fire
By changing a light bulb or filling a tire.
But their world-wide agenda is very specific:
A treaty whose costs to the States are horrific!
Their faith in Al’s gospel is really terrific --
God knows that it’s not in the least scientific!

Hill's Got Our Economy Fixed!

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

Though things are uptight with the Clinton campaign,
They’ve made us aware of the size of the brain
That Hillary has, 'cause she’s known all along
The ways to correct all the things that went wrong
That put our economy into a stall;
We’re grateful she stepped up to give us the call
To take certain actions she’s busy devising.
(The answer’s so simple, it’s really surprising!)

To steer us away from recession-like forces,
These steps are the things Mrs. Clinton endorses:

Create lots of jobs, and put people to work.

It’s offered in earnest, no hint of a smirk!
With logic like this, we expect she’ll conclude:
To end global hunger, just dole out some food!

We’d like to point out, while she’s taking her bow,
She’s told us the "What" but she’s left out the "How."
Her subsequent speeches began to explain
the policy moves that are sure to cause pain
To entrepreneurs who have proven their worth
To make our economy greatest on earth.

One strategy’s aimed at libs’ favorite foil:
Those criminal folks that are known as Big Oil!
She’ll tax’em like crazy - no rates are too high -
And raise lots of money which then she’ll apply
To companies that, in Hill’s single discretion,
Are part of a worthy and noble profession,
Like ones that’ll research alternative power
Or other "green" business on which she can shower
Her blessings, since Hillary surely knows best --
We guess that free markets would fail in this test.

Hill’s centralized planning should set off some sparks
as mindful of books writ by Engels and Marx.
She needs to be told that these policies fail,
Wherever they’re tried, on calamitous scale!
Please tell her Americans aren’t predisposed
To having her fiscal opinions imposed.
Her socialist leanings are being exposed,
All voters who care should be highly opposed!