Those Crazy, Hypocritical Celebs!

© 2007, by The Conservative Muse

Remember the scene?  A young man and his girl

on the prow of the ship with the wind all aswirl; 

he hugs her, they’re smiling – it’s all so romantic;

it’s what you expect if you cross the Atlantic

by sailing on board a luxurious liner -- 

for working-class blokes can it get any finer? 

He shouts, “I’m the King of the World” to the sky,

And makes teenaged girls in the audience cry.

How tragic to know that a scene that’s so nice

Will soon be destroyed by some huge chunks of ice 

That probably melted way off in the Arctic;

We guess this encounter was highly cathartic

For Leo DiCaprio, King of Titanic, 

Who thinks that the world should set off in a panic

To stop global warming from wreaking more harm

Than hitting his boat with a ten-bell alarm!

Although he became a legitimate actor,

It’s hard to ignore the hypocrisy factor

Of Leo’s campaign to reduce all consumption – 

From Hollywood types it’s the height of presumption! 

Just look at Babs Streisand, who lately observed

That water and energy must be conserved

To stave off the crisis of warming we’ve made;

For curbing our usage she’s on a crusade.

We guess from these strictures she’s gotten a pardon:

She spends twenty grand just to water her garden!

There’s Jennifer Lopez, George Clooney, Brad Pitt,

and Julia Roberts who love to admit

they drive hybrid cars for the mileage they’ll get,

then ruin it all in their own private jet

by flying around to their next destination

and spewing out carbon without limitation!

Is anything dumber than mounting a show

Like “Live Earth,” with rock stars who’d like to bestow 

Advice on the right and the “green” way to live? 

It’s like they would think Barry Bonds ought to give

A course on avoiding steroidal enhancement!

There’s only one concept that’s gaining advancement: 

These models of excess and wasteful pursuit

Are qualified best to pretend that they’re mute!

These two-faced celebs are all lefty-inclined;

They act like Al Gore and John Edwards combined:

These pols live in mansions too large to conceive 

While sending out messages hard to believe:

Al begs us to change and consume less and less;

John mourns for the poor as their plight is expressed

By mobile homes parked in his castle’s vicinity;

We doubt he endorses this kind of proximity! 

These Dems and celebrities share the same traits:

Their drive for enlarging their image creates 

A need for a “crisis” that lets them display 

Concern and compassion to show us the way

Our actions can keep this disaster at bay:

By changing our lifestyles so they can still play!