A Letter to My (White) Grandmother

© 2008, by The Conservative Muse

Dear (White) Grandma,

You may be aware if you’re watching the news,

I’ve been in some places as hot as the pews

When Pastor Wright’s ranting a racialist sermon.

I was in the Mid-East on a trip to determine

My praise-worthy judgment in foreign affairs:

In the land of bazaars I displayed all my wares!

You know how I’ve always held firm in my stance

Success of The Surge would have less of a chance 

Than Democrats voting to drill for more oil! 

But darned if results didn’t work out to spoil

the theory I’ve held to through thick and through thin:

I’ll need fancy footwork and lots of good spin!

I’ll say I was right, though I clearly was wrong –

who knew all those tribes would’ve gotten along?

I met with Petraeus; I thought that he might

Enjoy getting tips on the best way to fight.

I counseled al-Maliki what should be done – 

This acting like President surely is fun!

The media love me – that’s patently true… 

and socialist  Europe swoons over me, too.

They like that I’m promising “fairness” for all

And bashing the U. S. to crowds I enthrall.

When Reagan was there he just tore down the Wall;

My future successes will make him look small!

Fondly,

Your humble grandson,

Barack